Stop Hiding Your True Self in Your Coaching Business

Are you in the process of starting or growing your own academic coaching business? If so, I wonder whether there are ways you might be limiting how fully you show up as your own big, bold, beautiful self—and, in turn, limiting how easily the right clients can find you.

Today I want to talk through four sneaky ways educators and coaches often hide in their business building, and some things to do instead. I’ll also share example language from coaches in my Anti-Boring Learning Lab about how showing up more fully as yourself can actually strengthen your work—especially if you’re doing executive function coaching or supporting neurodiverse learners.

Recently, I led a Rock Your Biz call with educators who are starting or growing private practices as academic coaches. As always, I never quite know what’s going to happen on those calls—it depends on what people bring into the space.

This time, people didn’t show up with specific questions. Instead, what I noticed was how open everyone felt, and how the conversation naturally moved toward this question:

“How can I be more my authentic self in my business? Starting a business can be scary and hard—so what’s the point of building something for yourself if you can’t show up more fully as yourself than you could as a teacher in a school?”

Afterward, my eyes were wet with tears—and I wasn’t the only one who had been moved. I sat down right away to unpack the sneaky ways we hide our true selves when building or growing a coaching business, and I noticed four patterns that kept coming up among the Rock Your Biz folks in the Learning Lab.

Trying to Be “Professional”

One coach said, “I’m trying to balance being myself with being professional.” Do you hear yourself saying that?

Why do those feel like opposing forces?

I understand this tension because I buy into that story too. I’m constantly noticing myself navigating that balance. But what I’ve learned—both in my own business and while watching educators build sustainable private practices—is that being “professional” doesn’t have to mean stepping outside yourself.

What if “professional” isn’t something you put on, but something that’s already inside you?

Using General Words to Describe What You Do

When you’re just starting your business, it’s easy to stay general. I used to say, “I help students who struggle in school with time management, organization, and study skills.” That’s not wrong—but it’s still broad.

If every academic coach describes their work the same way, families and students don’t know how to tell who might actually be a good fit. Specificity helps people recognize themselves in your work.

Getting Caught in a Wordsmithing Spiral

I see coaches struggle to finish first drafts of their marketing materials all the time—whether it’s an elevator pitch, website copy, or outreach letters to referral partners. They revise and revise and revise.

If this is you, there’s a moment where you have to take imperfect action and put something out into the world, even if it doesn’t feel finished.

When I attended my first marketing training years ago, my mentor said, “Build the plane while you’re flying it.” That phrase terrified me. What helped was paying attention to my own nervous system regulation and creating just enough structure to keep moving.

For the video that originally accompanied this post, my “basics” were simply the whiteboards. I didn’t know exactly what I would say—but having something concrete helped me move forward instead of staying stuck.

Not Wanting to Bother Anyone

Sometimes coaches in the Rock Your Biz program share drafts almost apologetically: “I tried to keep it short” or “I didn’t want to bother anyone.”

When we’re focused on not bothering people, there’s often a deeper part of ourselves we’re hiding. People deserve to know who you are—especially if your work could meaningfully support their student.

Instead of asking, “How can I say this without bothering anyone?” try asking, “What would it look like to lead with relationship here?”

What to Do Instead

Instead of trying to be “professional,” consider being a little more personal, emotional, or vulnerable—especially when it’s relevant to why you do this work.

What’s one personal detail you’re willing to share about why you’re drawn to academic or executive function coaching? Start there.

Take imperfect action by creating simple basics that help you move forward. Structure can support courage.

And get specific about who you serve.

Recently, coaches in our community shared powerful examples: one works especially well with boys navigating academic skills alongside questions of masculinity; another, a first-generation college graduate, supports students who want to create change for themselves and their families; others work with students who feel misunderstood—twice-exceptional learners, gifted students who feel unmotivated by school, or students living with anxiety or depression.

What stood out wasn’t polished marketing language—it was how personally connected each coach felt to the students they serve.

The more your marketing language reflects you, the more aligned—and sustainable—your coaching business can become.

An Invitation

If you’d like to explore these ideas further, I invite you to visit the Visitor’s Center of the Anti-Boring Learning Lab, where I share free resources related to studying, motivation, executive function, and building a coaching business.

https://antiboringlearninglab.com/resources

You don’t need to have everything figured out. You just need a place to start.